Monthly Archives: June 2012

Couteau à Beurre Tueur

I feel like back-billing the Taliban for all of my personal merchandise that’s been destroyed upon unnecessary check-ins or confiscated for being determined as weapons over the years.

My picnic basket’s (a.k.a. Bertha’s) dull butter knives were not allowed on Governor’s Island this past Saturday for Jazz Age Lawn Party. I was not a happy camper after going to the trouble of lugging a beautiful picnic spread!

With an entire afternoon of St. Germaine sponsored cocktails ahead of us, I was forced to leave them with security at the ferry’s dock.  I knew this was not a great idea and feared the thought of an incomplete basket set. After returning to the UES (five hours later), I realized I had left them there.

With $30.00 in taxi fair, some screaming, pounding on the locked glass doors of the terminal, getting yelled at by a gang of guards, befriending a giant, and finally locating the security manager, the cutlery was retrieved.

On the up side: The woman laughed when she saw the state of my knives and told me to ask for her if I ever run into this problem again. No one takes Bertha’s butter knives.  That is, unless they suspect you’ll try to conquer an island of drunken flappers …

Save a Tree …

Today I would like to talk about my great disdain for the receipt: Haven’t they figured out a better system by now? I feel like I get receipts for literally everything in NY. I collect them for my wash and fold, my dry-cleaning, metro cards and a separate one for every damn bus no really every damn bus ride, my clothing and food purchases…but when I go to Dunkin Donuts to order a small french vanilla-light and sweet (a wopping purchase of less than two dollars) does that really require a 12″ inch long receipt?!!!!! Honestly people!!! If I have buyers remorse over my small french vanilla coffee (for one) I’ve got issues. I highly doubt I am going to need that receipt to return it, or do anything else with it for that matter. Besides the fact that it keeps me at the counter an extra 10 seconds waiting for them to print it out, that two dollars is the last thing making or breaking me in this city.
Today I ran from the DD counter to try to avoid the “foot-long” , and the DD Barista (if you will) screamed at me! Reluctantly I turned around to collect. I knew while taking that paper it would be one of the hundred polluting my handbag and my life. I just looked at her and said, “I’m sorry m’am, but by Friday I have an entire tree in my purse.” At least someone was laughing. Ending Note: I thought New York City was all up on itself about being a Democratic, Progressive, Environmentally Aware place? Where are the damn tree huggers when you need them?! I vote Dunkin brings back the red stirrers with the hole inside (which you can actually sip your hot beverage through) and ban the “foot-long” once and for all.

Who is PeanutPimpMama?

I love a good drum circle. Yeah. So it’s true that I’ve got a little angst. I’m a child of the 90’s.

I run marathons just to eat the pasta. In my former life I was a ballerina, a skinny one with really long legs. In this life I chose food.

I can plow through an entire container of cornichons. I love anything that sparkles. I like to take pictures of food. I like to keep things interesting.

I hate not finishing what I start. Sometimes it takes me months to get through bad books and I painfully force myself anyway. Small animals hate me. I am a woman of leisure.

I am an artist in hiding. I love white cheddar popcorn. I think cameras are magical and I love capturing moments with them. Sometimes when I’m bored I watch ballet clips on Youtube. I like inspirational quotes and philisophical banter. Bikram yoga makes me feel like a million bucks.

The way to my heart is through my stomach. I heart Doritos. When they come out with a new Dorito flavor I am generally the first on line to buy. V-8 keeps my diet straight. Hot pink orchids are my favorite flower.

I love Ritter Sport bars and often contemplate why the Germans would put “Sport” on a 400 calorie chocolate bar. I firmly believe that chunky and creamy peanut butter each have their own unique purposes.

I take food seriously.

I have a pretty damn fabulous life.